my heart is perhaps in the wrong hands. destruction awaits, but i can’t help but long for a future with my heart-bearer… whatever it may be like. if i suffer, i shall suffer well. if i prosper, i shall prosper well.

anything is better than this emptiness that swallows me whole.

i should have been a bird. in the morning, i wait for their song and wish i was singing along. i watch as they fly together over the mountains, until they tire and collect themselves in a simple home they’ve built in a tree. instead of listening to my parents, i listened to the birds… when the going gets tough, when it just doesn’t feel right anymore, fly away. 

why stay when you can be happy somewhere else?

i wish we could choose what we dreamt about. wouldn’t that be lovely? to have a carefully crafted escape when reality betrays you? i would be able to keep my greatest memories within me eternally. i would relive them every night as i slept.

sorrow has manifested in many varying forms. it has pained me differently, perhaps more, perhaps less, or perhaps even the same. i cannot tell you what it feels like to be filled to the brim with sorrow… or is it to be hollowed out by it? i do not know. sorrow knows no constant. it is ever-changing, because that is what makes it strongest. that is what makes it so able to claim us. but what it doesn’t realize, is that the more it gives us to fight… the stronger we will be, in the end.

something strange happened to me on the metro. perhaps it only seems strange to me, because what truly happened was a revelation within me that was not shared with anyone. i was sitting there, clutching my bundles of baggage as an older man perused newspapers next to me. i was feeling mildly uncomfortable, as i always do when alone on the metro, and was avoiding all eye contact and peering out the window. when i looked up, i saw a man in the reflection. young, a few years older than i. he was peering at me, straight in the eyes, in the reflection. he did not smile, he did not compliment me, he did not wave. he merely looked, with a soft gaze, and in that… comforted me. i wonder, if my spirits are lifted at something so simple, why am i so sad?